Forgiveness is required, not optional. It’s the hard truth that is sometimes difficult to accept. Holding on to unforgiveness will have mental, physical and spiritual effects on you. The good news is there is a road map to forgiveness in GOD’S word and you don’t have to do it within your own strength. HOLY SPIRIT will equip and strengthen you in the process.
Is the process of forgiveness going to be easy, probably not. However, the ability to forgive gets easier with time, practice and much prayer. Rest assured life will provide multiple opportunities for you to practice forgiveness. Here are a few tips on how to forgive GOD’s way.
“14 For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” -Matthew 6:14-15 NIV
Forgiveness
To forgive someone, does not absolve them of their accountability in the hurt, pain, or offense they have caused you. Forgiveness releases you from the resentment, bitterness, anger, heartache, and pain associated with the person or circumstances. Your feelings and emotions may be real and valid when you have been hurt. However, holding on to unforgiveness will only deteriorate you from the inside out.
Love, compassion, humility, endurance, long-suffering, and patience are at the root of forgiveness. Pride, haughtiness, rejection, isolation, and abandonment are at the root of unforgiveness. Measuring the fruit of holding on to unforgiveness is not worth the costs to who you are and will become.
HOLY SPIRIT will equip you to forgive.
Relying on another person to affirm your emotions before your forgive, will leave you frustrated and stagnant in your healing process. When someone hurts you, there are a few things to consider: (1) the person is not aware of how their actions impacted you, (2) the person is selfish, (3) the person is incapable or unwilling to have empathy towards anyone, (4) the pain is pushing toward your purpose.
Forgiveness allows you to flourish in your healing journey. You no longer wait for someone else to come and set you free from the heartache and pain. You set yourself free. Ask HOLY SPIRIT for the strength to forgive. It may take HIS supernatural strength to see past what has happened to, let go, and forgive.
“ For thou, Lord, art good, and ready to forgive; and plenteous in mercy unto all them that call upon thee.”
Psalm 86:5 KJV
How to forgive
The process of forgiveness will take time at first. However, it will become easier with time. You will be able to forgive and let go quicker. The steps in the process of forgiveness are
Acknowledge. Admit to yourself the facts of the hurt. This should be done after you’ve evaluated your emotions and feelings; not in the heat of the moment.
Consider. Be open to the possibility that you may not have knowledge of or been able to see all the factors.
Determine. Identify the offense, determine you willforgive, let go, and be free.
Repair. Start the process to reconcile and repair the relationship with the person who wronged you.
Learn. Forgiveness is for you. Learn what it means to you and how to function in healthy relationships in the future.
Boundaries
Establishing healthy boundaries is essential to forgiveness. Forgiving someone does not mean they are immediately allowed the same access into the areas of your life where the hurt accord. It is ok to set healthy boundaries in any relationship. Be careful, not to blur the lines between healthy boundaries and holding on to offense. Do not hold on to the offense, but establish new boundaries for healthy reconciliation.
“ Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.” -Proverbs 19:11 ESV
“ Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” -Proverbs 10:12 ESV
“ Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I am the Lord.” -Leviticus 19:18 KJV
Establishing healthy boundaries is self-love.
GOD will repay
“ Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Romans 12:19 KJV
GOD saw all that has happened to you. HE does not want to see HIS children hurting or continuing in the same cycles. GOD will hold us all accountable for our own actions. Forgiveness is your REQUIRED choice. Repentanceis the REQUIRED choice of the person who hurt you.
“ Pay attention to yourselves! If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
-Luke 17:3-4 ESV
Seek wise counsel
Have you ever been around someone, who keeps telling the same story of hurt and pain they’ve experienced over and over again. Unfortunately they may be walking in unforgiveness. No one has stopped to tell them, you need to forgive and release yourself from the pain. You are traumatizing yourself with unforgiveness.
Everyone cannot speak into your life when you need forgive. The world’s view of forgiveness does not coincide with the Word of GOD. Everyone is to quick to cut people off. This is not biblical nor according to GOD’s will for your life. Holding on to grudges and unforgiveness is NOT A SIGN OF STRENGTH.
Surround yourself around healthy people who encourage you to let go of offense, heal, forgive and be set free. It’s ok to ask for support from GOD and wise counsel during the forgiveness process.
Forgiveness is not a sign of weakness. It shows your strength to be humble and shows GOD’s heart. Forgiveness reflects GOD’s love, kindness, and mercy in the earth. When you forgive you walk in the strength of GOD and shine HIS light.
SCHEDULE A 1-ON-1 COACHING CALL WITH A LIFE TRANSFORMATION AND HEALING COACH
