AUTHOR: LAURIE PINKINS
How to stop the holiday blues of
over-giving
Learn how to find your worth in GOD to stop over-giving during the holiday seasons.
Do you give, give, and give and it never seems to be enough? Have thoughts of nothing you do is ever good enough, despite how much you give? Care for others, but feel unappreciated or devalued? You may be an over-giver.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23 KJV
What is Over-giving?
Over-giving is to give lavishly to the extent you are relinquished of resources. You give, give, and give, regardless of if you become depleted or harmed financially, emotionally, or mentally. Over-giving comes from a need to feel worthy. You want to receive something in return to make you feel validated with words of affirmation, appreciation or love. However, the end result is feelings of emptiness, regret, resentment and devalue. Give from a place of true generosity.
Attempting to give in order to create scenarios where individuals affirm you as worthy, will only leave you with low self-esteem. First, individuals who truly value and know your worth, will not require anything from you. Your presence will be enough. Have you ever gone out to lunch with a friend and when the ticket comes you both are reaching for it to see who can pay it first. Or sat in the room of a genuine friend, where both of you could just sit in each other’s presence and enjoy the moment. A true friend sees your worth and values you. GOD is a true friend. Discovering your worth in GOD, through the fruit of HOLY SPIRIT, will help you to stop over-giving during the holiday season.
“Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for GOD loveth a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7 KJV
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A true friend sees your worth and values you.
GOD is a true friend.
Discovering your worth in GOD, through the fruit of HOLY SPIRIT, will help you to stop over-giving this holiday season.
Reasons for Over-giving
The following are reasons you may over-give:
- You find your self-worth in the validation of others by giving
- You doubt if you are good enough without what you have to give
- You feel obligated or guilty to give out for fear of consequences, such as a loss of a relationship
- You are a people-pleaser
Generosity
vs.
over-giving
A generous person givers with a genuine intent to enhance the well-being of others. Being a generous giver, is not primarily based on giving from a place of financial abundance alone. Generosity is in regards to giving from a place where you are full of love, joy, peace, self-worth, value, confidence and contentment.
When you are an over-giver, you struggle with feelings of you never give enough or you are not enough. Despite, oftentimes giving from a place of lack. You pour from an empty cup of unworthiness. Ascertaining if you give your all, there may be a possibility you are accepted. It is essential for you to recognize the people who value you and themselves. People of value, will never allow you to give from a place of lack until it totally depletes everything you have within you. They will build you up with confidence and validation. Genuine individuals will affirm that you are enough. You do not have to give in order to be accepted.
It is a delicate balance between being a generous person and an over-giver. Over-givers have a genuine desire to give because deep down in your heart you care about the well-being and happiness of other people. The issues of over-giving arise, when you continuously give until you are depleted. In addition, the individuals who are accepting your gifts never reciprocate in any form. The motive behind your giving will determine if you are a generous person or an over-giver.
Examine the intent of every gift purchase. Ask yourself when making purchasing, is this gift to make the other person happy? Or am I, purchasing this gift in hopes to receive validation and appreciation? If your answer, is yes to the second question, you may be an over-giver. But there is hope. Once you begin to know your worth in GOD, you will be able to start to filter the internal dialogue when buying gifts this holiday season.
Signs of Over-Giving
Lack of Appreciation
Find yourself saying you are never you appreciated. Surrounded by individuals who will take from you, but never give back.
Exhausted
Deplete use of your time, energy and resources which are taken from other essential obligations.
Guilt
Neglect your instincts to give because you feel guilty or individuals cause you to feel guilty for not giving.
Lack of personal boundaries
Give despite the possibility of harm to yourself mentally, physically, financially or emotionally.
Devalued
Unhealed internal feelings of low self-esteem, self-worth and self-value.
10 Scriptures for Overgiving
“For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21 KJV
The healing process to overcome unworthiness to stop over-giving, can be complex. However, sustainable healing is possible with GOD. There is power in speaking and meditating on the scriptures of the Bible daily. Read, speak, and meditate on the 10 scriptures for over-giving.
How to Stop Over-giving
Pray and ask HOLY SPIRIT to fill you with HIS love to increase your self-worth. When you give, give, and give it can be detrimental to your mental, physical and emotional well-being. This is because you are pouring from an empty cup of unworthiness. Giving is who you are as a person. However, you must give with the correct motive of the well-being of others. You should not have feelings of being used, empty or devalued after you give. Despite how much you truly enjoy to see others happy and want to give. People will take advantage of you, when they recognize you are an over-giver and lack personal boundaries. In view of the fact, you seek others affirmation and validation through giving. Pray and ask HOLY SPIRIT to fill you with HIS love to increase your self-worth. HE will lead and guide you on how to give from a place of wholeness and generosity.
Oftentimes, GOD will require for you to give from a place of sacrifice out of obedience to HIM. This article is to address you over-giving to people from a place of low self-worth or value. GOD desires for you to be a generous and cheerful giver. In order to do so you need to have pure motives and intentions behind your giving. HE wants you to give from a place of wholeness in HIM and not to seek validation or approval. When you give in generosity, the only approval you will need, is to know you obeyed GOD.
GOD wants to be involved in every are of your life, including giving. Give with a generous heart with pure motives to increase the well-being of others. You will continue to feel devalued and unappreciated when you over-give. For the reason of your motives are not pure. The intent is to receive validation. However, the price of a gift does not compare to your self-worth. This aspect exposes the necessity of knowing your worth in GOD. GOD sees you as worthy. Your need to over-give will begin to dissipate once you realize your worth in GOD. You will begin to become a generous giver because you appreciate the people in your environment. Instead of a desire to be seen as worthy.
Use the following steps to stop over-giving:
- Evaluate your reasons for giving, whether out of necessity, generosity, obligation or guilt.
- Ask yourself, what is the intent behind each gift purchase
- Set a budget for gift-giving
- Be open to receive gifts from others
- Give with boundaries
- Give to a local charity
- Give to your local church
Next Steps
GOD desires for you to be a generous and cheerful giver. HE wants you to give from a place of wholeness in HIM and not to seek the validation or approval of others. Use these steps to stop over-giving and find your worth in GOD.
Use these steps to stop over-giving and find your worth in GOD.
- Evaluate your reasons for giving, whether out of necessity, generosity, obligation or guilt.
- Ask yourself, what is the intent behind each gift purchase
- Set a budget for gift-giving
- Be open to receive gifts from others
- Give with boundaries
- Give to a local charity
- Give to your local church
Read, speak and meditate on the 10 scriptures of the Bible for Over-giving.
- “Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.” Luke 6:38
- “Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.” Hebrews 13:5
- “Charge them that are rich in this world, that they be not highminded, nor trust in uncertain riches, but in the living God, who giveth us richly all things to enjoy;” 1 Timothy 6:17
- “The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it.” Proverbs 10:22
- “Honour the Lord with thy substance, and with the firstfruits of all thine increase:” Proverbs 3:9
- “He that loveth silver shall not be satisfied with silver; nor he that loveth abundance with increase: this is also vanity.” Ecclesiastes 5:10
- “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also.” Matthew 6:21
- “Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:7
- “Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” Proverbs 4:23
- “But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33
Are you having difficulty maintaining personal boundaries when giving to others? Want to transform your life today. Get your free consultation with a Life Transformation & Healing coach to start the journey to find your worth in GOD.
Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
James 5:16 KJV
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