TIPS ON HOW TO LET GO OF THE PAST AND LIVE A JOYFUL LIFE
Written by Laurie Pinkins
Hearing the phrase just let it go, may be a trigger for individuals living with unhealed trauma wounds. Oftentimes, you don’t realize that you are even holding on to past trauma. You’re just living life. It’s not until life circumstances force you to confront your unhealed trauma, that you even realize you’ve been carrying the burdens of the past.
You should know that you are not alone, and that there are healthy and unhealthy ways we all use to heal from trauma. Here are a few tips for you to recognize the trauma triggered patterns in your life.
You have unhealthy coping skills
The mechanisms you use to cope with stress, may be a direct reflection of how you heal from trauma. When you are in a stressful situation here are a few ways to recognize if you have unhealthy coping skills.
Avoiding dealing with issues. Though it may seem reasonable to avoid confronting certain situations, pushing them back will only cause from them to inevitable rise to the surface again.
Over or under eating. Your body needs the proper nutrients to survive. Depriving yourself of the proper diet may severely affect your physical and mental health.
Lack of a routine. Focusing on your goals daily with a routine will ensure success. Allowing the day to determine your direction guarantees frustration.
Impulsive decision making. Choosing a simple and quick outcome without careful decision-making on how it may impact your future, may have a severe impact on your finances, family, and career.
Over sleeping. Your body needs to rest, but sleeping too much is very similar to avoidance. This will only delay your healing process, but not eliminate it.
Alcohol and drug use. Recreational or social use of substances to calm your mind or numb your emotions, is unhealthy for your mental and physical health. It may lead to addictions and severe health conditions.
2. You have unhealthy codependency
Humans are social by nature, we need each other. However, not being able to survive or function without another person is toxic codependency.
Relying on another person to regulate your moods is a clear sign of toxic codependency. Your feelings and emotions fluctuate based upon his or her mood. Obtaining your sense of self-worth and purpose from another person is not sustainable to affirm who you are. You cannot put your self-esteem in someone else’s hands.
“ And he said unto her, Daughter, thy faith hath made thee whole;
go in peace, and be whole of thy plague.”
Mark 5:34 KJV
3. You often isolate yourself
The idol mind is the devil’s workshop is not just a quote it’s the truth of GOD’s word.
“Idle hands are the devil’s workshop; idle lips are his mouthpiece.“ -Proverbs 16:27-29 TLB
Long periods of isolation is not healthy or conducive to your healing journey. Being alone with your thoughts where you can rehearse and replay all your past hurt and trauma will leave you stagnant and possibly repeating the same trauma cycles you’ve experienced. It is important to be surrounded by healthy and healed individuals to help you along your journey.
SCHEDULE A 1-ON-1 COACHING CALL WITH A LIFE TRANSFORMATION AND HEALING COACH
“Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today because if you enjoy it today, you can do it again tomorrow.”- James A. Michener
You are worth the investment to accomplish your goals. Putting off what may seem like a small task will delay your success and leave you with a consistent feeling of stagnation and frustration. Procrastination can be masked with a feeling of, I just don’t feel like it or I don’t have all the tools it takes to accomplish my goals. Completing daily tasks such as making your bed every morning and meal prep will begin the process of breaking the cycle of procrastination.
5. You are people pleaser
Feeling the compulsive need to focus on giving to everyone, at the expense of your own well being is an unhealthy coping mechanism of people pleasing.
Practicing self-love will heal the need to over give and place other people’s needs before your own. Here are a few common feelings that coincide with people pleasing:
I have to do it for them or no one else will
They deserve better than me
I will loose the connection with them if I don’t give
Giving is a sign of affection, admiration, and respect, but should not be mandatory in order to maintain any relationship. Learning to heal from past trauma wounds is a journey. It starts with focusing on the inner work with self-love. “Self-love is having defined boundaries for how you will treat yourself and how you allow others to treat you.”- Laurie Pinkins
6. You under-estimate your worth
The desire to want to live a healed life and having the lack of motivation to take the steps to heal, indicates you lack a sense of self-worth. You don’t feel you are worthy or capable of healing. Under estimating your self-worth is likely partnered with people pleasing. You feel other people deserve the best, therefore you take the steps to make sure others accomplish their goals. However, you in turn neglect yourself and put off making the necessary decisions to reach your greatest potential. You are WORTHY. Despite your past traumas or healing wounds, you are worthy to live a life full of joy, happiness, love and peace.
GOD sees you as worthy and loves you. “See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” 1 John 3:1, NIV
To find healthy ways of coping with past trauma visit our YouTube page https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZtDyS5tI9sHDQC_JNknyJQ
